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Sunday, December 13, 2009
Assalamualaikum...
It has really been awhile... and i was thinking, i wanted to post this entry. Not knowing if she is going to read this. This would be the first time i decide to type a message to her openly.
To a friend whom i miss dearly and always wishes well for...
Miss Siti Hafizah Bte Masrohin...
You know what? I still think of you and misses you. Once a month I will check your blog to read about the latest update about how you are right now. We grew apart, didn't we? How it happen? I'm not really sure but I think deep inside we both kinda know...
When i read about the troubles you have in your life, your worries~ family or personal, I doa that you keep going strong and insyallah, Allah stays with you to give you strength in life. May you find happiness in life.
Deep inside, i kinda wish you were able to talk to me about your problems in the past. However, i understand you prefer privacy and thus i took a step back and wanting to let you know that you could turn to me if you need to one day...
However, an incident happened, and things started getting awkward frm then and we slowly stopped communicating. The four years of friendship came to a halt. But i want to let you know, I cherish the four years of strong friendship we had in Secondary School. I truly took upon you as a sister I never had. Thanks for the memories... Thanks for the lovely friendship you had given me. Thanks for everything.
On the other hand, if in the course of our friendship, I made any mistake, i offer my sincere apology. Please halalkan segala hutang and makan minum. I don't know if our path would ever cross again one day. Nevertheless, take care of yourself... Stay strong... May you find happiness in life...
Yours Sincerely,
Nuraina(Aina)
6:16 AM;
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Saturday, June 06, 2009
Hey all!!!
I'm back from Alterisk Camp. I had fun! supeeeeeeer fun!
I took chances on my fear of heights because I wanted to prove to myself that I can toughen up and pray that insyallah I'll be fine. Only Allah knows how fast my heart was beating and the very tight grip that I had on the ropes. My lips and heart were constantly repeating doa-doas in hopes to calm down my nerves and at many points, I shut my eyes and breathe in and out trying to put myself in the calm zone especially when my hands and legs started to get all shaky and jittery. Alhamdulillah, I got through it and there was a sense of accomplishment that I felt at the end. I was crouching down on the floor with my head in between my legs, telling myself I did it. My phobia of height has been with me ever since I was young. I used to hold my Mum's hands so tightly when crossing the overhead bridge and I hate going to people with their homes at such high level. Whenever I look down, I feel myself falling down and until now looking down from 10-12 storey high building gives me that same sick feeling.
Rock-climbing was another obstacle that I wanted to stay away from because in JC, I made a fool out of myself for not wanting to let go and let the belayer slowly drop me to level ground. I was rooted up there in the middle of the wall not wanting to let go and classmates and tutor started to calm me down and urging me to let go. I remember shutting my eyes, saying bismillah and let the wall go FINALLY. I think I kinda screamed the way down. It was not a pretty sight and thus, the rock-climbing obstacle was one I thought may lead to such outcome, I wanted to skip it. But, due to all the other facis had given it a try and that a camper of mine passing me the harnest urging me to go, I decided to do it... When climbing up, I was determined to reach to the top and not looking down because I know that I will give up once I look down. I will imagine myself falling and crashing down. Alhamdulillah, I did it. I felt so bersyukur for the strength Allah has given me.
Dragon-boating was super fun!hahaha... one of the reasons is because the group I was in won. WIth determination we all had and cooperation, not to mention I think I screamed loudly to motivate the rowers, (sorry Fatmah for my screamings!) we won!!!!!!. My group was damn hype during amazing race which is superb...:):)
Anyway, I still don't think I deserve the "best Female Facilitator" because I think other female facis did outshine me and nevertheless alhamdulillah for the award(I still think the award should go to someone else). Gd job facis and most of us are guilty of being half-asleep during the subuh's bacaam doa.
Ultimately, what matters is that, Alhamdulillah, the camp turned out well.
GD JOB AD-HOC! sorry my imperfect '3 cheers' leading for all of you but I know the hardwork you've gone through. Being a camp commandant for a 2days 1 night camp was an experience that was full to ups and downs, and therefore I cannot imagine the preparation they have taken to organise a 3days 2nights camps. YOU ALL DID GOOD! *patting on all of your back*
With the knee injury coming back to haunt me, doakan for my health. Insyallah, it will be better in time:)
I hope that Allah continues to give me strength and give me direction in life. Insyallah.
2:11 AM;
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Saturday, May 30, 2009
HI there....
Anyway, I managed to clear quite a lot of the to-do list for the holidays which include
- Getting a new track pants
- Get my working pants altered
- Get new tailor made pants
- Get rid of old clothes in my cupboard
- Get a small sling bag
- Get a big bottle (after much hesitation)
- Get a new pair of heels
- Get a new pair of flats
- Get sandals
- Go ice-skating(who hoo!)
- Start reading my long-awaited books(novels and biography! LOVE!)
- Finish up my subject list and CV for TE
- Get a new telekung
Things I've yet to do
- Get a new hp(next month maybe)
- Get a haircut
- Get my compaq laptop reformatted
- Get rid of more clothes(I'm having a hard time disposing old posessions)
- Get a sports bag/sling bag for school
- Go and start learning _______ from my mum ( I need to fulfill my promise)
- Finish up my daily contact lens before expiry date(I hate using contact lens!)
Anyway off to camp on Tues... I wonder how the camp will turn out to be...
6:58 AM;
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Sunday, May 17, 2009
I love this philophical thinking...
We are all drivers in the world. We drive a car and we make a choice on how fast or slow the car is goin to move. We cannot blame the car when we get a speeding ticket.
Likewise, we are in control of our life. We make choices in life and we have to bear the consequences to all our actions. Do not blame others for the mistakes you make in life. You are in control of your life. We are always in control of our life. You may be reckless or careful if you want to. You control the pace(well, except those traffic lights....hahahaha). Allah will provide you with barriers in life(not beacuse HE hates you.. but he wants to challenge you on whether your iman is strong and if you would waver under the pressure of life) and in turn you build character.
All challenges in life, makes you grow and mature. What would life be without challenges. A boring easy life.... where you stay naive and childish....
So PEOPLEEEEEEE.... take control of your choices in life. May choices knowing that you have made the best one. And if you make mistakes, well, don't dwell too much... learn from them and move on...
1:48 AM;
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Sunday, May 10, 2009
For the different choices we make,
Make it with a reason.
And when we look back,
Let us not regret those decisions
For they are made with best thoughts and reasonings
If there are mistakes made,
Learn from them
You may regret
but never be down for it
for take it as a lesson to be learnt
For it will make you a stronger person
6:51 AM;
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Sunday, February 01, 2009
I'm trying to more organised and yesh... i'm taking small baby steps.
Anyway, in less than 2 months my brother will be a husband. It's good to add another oestrogen with all the existence testosterone in the family. hahaha....
Anyway 2 important events insyallah will happen, other than Abang Faizal's Nikah ceremony which will happen suring the first half of this month. It may not be big to an outsider but to me they are indeed sometime that will have a deep impact in my life.
Losing weight is in one of my main goal other than to have an improvement in my quality of life. When the 20 has come and your teen years are gone, you realise that age is cathing up. Like a friend of mine, Shiying said "yalar... I feel old". Hahaha.... Are you going to be satisfied living in this state of mind and knowledge?
A question pops into my head a few weeks ago. Why a lot of people feel the need to conceal something that is good. Like wanting to solah, obeying your parents wishes, wanting to dress modestly. It is mind-boggling. Why are we ashame to do something good? WHy do we want to conform to the 'in-crowd' even though deep inside we do know what is right and wrong. The path is clear but we don't want to be label as a saint. Why not? Why do one feel it is so downgrading?
Mengakah kita selalu membesarkan keduniaan yang hanya sementara. Bilakah masa kita akan kembali? Hari sekarang hari baik buat kita namun apa yang ada di dalam hidup kita hanyalah pinjaman. Nyawa, duit, harta-benda, keluarga dan kawan-kawan. Setiap pinjaman akan ada hadnya dan bila sudah sampai kita pulangkan benda itu kepada yang maha Esa, adakan kita ada hak untuk tidak mengembalikannya? Tentunya tidak. Kita hanyalah manusia kerdil yang mempunyai tanngungjawab untuk mengisi kehidupan ini seperti mana yang kita mahui. Dengan gejala maksiat atau dengan perbuatan yang baik di sisi Allah SWT.Memang kita sebagai manusia ada perasaan tetapi ingatlah kita juga ada keupayaan yang dianugerahkan untuk mengawal supaya ia tidak menjadi keterlaluan. Allah memberi kita akal oleh itu fikirkanlah. Kadangkala, ilmu yang kita ada ini tidaklah banyak namun kita ada daya untuk memperluaskan pengetahuan supaya kita tidak seperti bak kata orang buta yang mengikut haluan tanpa ada hala tujuan. Kita selalu berasa kekosongan kerana hati ini selalu dikosongkan. Memang siapa yang membaca mungkin fikir saya sebagai ingin memberi syarahan tetapi ini hanyalah peringatan. Saya pun banyak cacat-celanya. Banyak yang harus diperbaiki. Saya bersyukur jika ditegur supaya diri ini dapat diperbetulkan supaya insyallah saya akan kembali kepadaNYA sebaik mungkin yang saya sapat. Doakan saya. Insyallah.
1:08 AM;
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Tuesday, January 13, 2009
I am going to make some changes to my lifestyle... To live more purposefully and healthy...
- To go for jogging (when I have time)
- To eat more consciously
- To spare more time for activities that benefit others
- To take my supplementaries and vitamins more religiously
I had a talk with someone(a friend) today. I've been finding someone who will motivate me further to put my all in my studies and I'm truly grateful for it. I believe if he has the capability to do it, I should be able to do it too:):)
I'm making a move to widen by social group my friends. I hope this does not offend anyone, sometimes I feel the need to not stick too much to a specific group. I belive in ,well, be able to have a diverse group of friends whom I can hang out with differently every now and then. In the past, it was the opposite. I seek for a group of friends I can stick by with. However now, it seems like it's great to get to know more people and be able to have open and diverse topic of conversation.
Today in total, I hanged out with 4 different groups of people whom I get to know much better. With a smile and sincerity, it helps a lot in communicating. 2 years ago, you will never see me in this light.
Yet, I am still that reserved person who still am wary of strangers at time. Most of my friends will label me to be 'polite' for the initial 'polite' customary way I act in front of a new-found friend. Deep inside, I am a crazy person. Those teachers in my previous school know how crazy I am. Hehe... and especially my family. Outside, I potray myself as a mature person yet at home I may act more like a 10 year kid(minus the whiny part). I love to hug people(mind you, only my mahrams). The gift of touch certainly work wonder...
Anyway, I claimed my 'loan' laptop...yay! whopee doo!
4:40 AM;
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Sunday, December 21, 2008
OMG... people around me are either planning to get married or just got married and they are around my age. Gosh... gosh.... they ARE around my age. No offence to these people, I am happy for their marriage, but I know I am not going to be ready to tie the knot yet.
Being a wife at the age of 20/21, while still studying... oh gosh, don't think I'll be able to handle to it. Personally, I'm not mature enough and prepared. Insyallah, when time is right and I know I have the sufficient knowledge and maturity to handle being a good wife and mother(when a child comes knocking into my life), I will then step into the marriage life. For now, nothing matters more than finishing my education well and taking care of my parents and enjoying the warmth of the siblings love. I want to be equipped with the good knowledge of agama and stability for me to know my responsiblities well. I do not want to be a naive person who think only by the heart.
For I am a head-headed person who is driven by a sense of responsibility, I shall take things as they come and when I feel things are right, I will then venture into a life with the right pre-knowledge.
A few more days to the reopening to school... Arghh!!Still a few more things
I need to do:P
Anyway, I am such a freak for books, I just bought the 15th book this month. Yupz... craziness. Oh ya, for those who think twilight series are for freaks, well, you may want to think otherwise because curiosity leads to me reading and ADORIIIIIIING the book. Yesh, Edward is one-hell of a vampire that you just wana have by your side. In the meantime, I need to find a victim who is ready to accompany to watch a movie... Hmmz, my cousin sounds so appealing... muahahahaha
5:01 PM;
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Thursday, December 11, 2008
This is my 367 posts... wow! it has been a very very long time... hehe...
Anyway, first and foremost I would like to say alhamdulillah... praise to the God of Almighty who has bless me with rahmat and rezeki. Alhamdulillah, the camp went alright. As per normal, glitches here and there are a norm to every camp. It always keep me on my toes. In the end what matters is that the kids had fun and their well-being is taken care of. Oh I just wish that I could have had more contact with them:):)... And guess what? One of the kids was from from my Art Club. So funny how he looked so shocked asking what I was doing. It was great to see him though.
I've met 2 of my dear darlings who I can always talk to which are Farhana and Jannah. It's good to share our schooling experience and to know what are the things happening in their life. Anyway, a shout-out to jannah for passing her bike test! wohoo~~ so proud of her. Jannah, do take care when you are on the road.
Farhana, it is always fun to just hang out with her and we can talk about a lot of things under the sun. We always question ourselves on how the friendship started because we were never in the same class or even group. A friend of a friend.
Anyway, results out! alhamdulillah, I did fine... I wished I did a bit more better but I'm thankful with what Allah has grace me. Jiayou Aina... You can do better next time. Achieve for more As.... hehehe...
Anyway, I'm in need to cut my hair and also pack my bag for the trip to KL this weekend...
5:24 AM;
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Saturday, November 08, 2008
Things are so messed up right now.
wow.... it's 'interesting' that some aren't happy.... wow!*sarcasm*
Shitty position shitty work...
k lar... i'm counting down the days until im out of this position....
less than a month. Jiayou girl.
You can do it!
I get so angry this few days.... I just do that.
I really am not in the mood to meet up any friends this month on November.
Things are so messed up. My work and worries are never-ending...
Aina aims to be a villain the next few days and don't bloody care how people think.... to hell with all that. I'm not here to please you! but to make this work
Gives me the patience and strength Allah... Insyallah, this will all turn out well
1:14 AM;
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